Open for Business! (Wednesday Wonderings)

After almost 4 long years of training, and 18 months of placement, I am ready to start my own Private Practice.

I’ve wanted to become a Psychotherapist for many years, but have been caught up with my education business, which I have loved and still do. Then my focus shifted entirely when I became a mother. But despite some of the busiest years of my life, the thought of retraining never went away. So in 2021 I took the plunge and began the long road to becoming a Psychotherapist. And believe me when I say that 4 years in, is just the beginning!

When I enquired about the course, I was told “you’ll live the next 4 years anyway, so you may as well be training”. And whilst I recognised the inherent privilege in that, it also made quite a lot of sense to me, so I dived in.

Super keen to get back into formal education, I signed up and started the Foundation Course in Transactional Analysis (TA). TA is a Psychoanalytical Theory which looks in particular at our interactions with others, our relationships with others and how these shape who we were in childhood and beyond into adulthood. The Foundation Course is a standalone training that many do, without going forward to the Advanced training. But I knew that I had a 4 year plan and that reaching that goal would open other doors for me to continue training and studying, in order to get ready and eventually sit the exam to become a Certified Transactional Analyst (CTA). I’ve been fortunate to collect a lot of letters after my name since I left university in 2000 and i’m ready to have some in the field of Psychoanalysis now.

One of the first things that I did was find myself a new therapist. It is a requirement of my training that I have a minimum of 40 hours per year. I had previously experienced therapy and I know how powerfully it has helped me, so I wasn't concerned about needing to restart this, but I appreciate how daunting this is for anyone starting therapy for the first time. I certainly remember what that was like 20 years ago! You can read here about my first therapist and what she gave me. I will always be grateful for her wisdom and compassion.

The therapist that I have worked with since 2022 is also fantastic, she’s held my hand, propped me up and helped keep me going these past few years. She also doesn’t take any of my rubbish and will challenge me at times. We have built a strong working alliance and this holds me well.

Working relationally - what does that even mean?

A big focus of my training and personal therapy is working relationally, which means that the therapist- client relationship is prioritised as the primary tool for healing and growth. Given that we are neuro-biologically programmed for connection, having the right people around us, ones that help us feel safe and support us to meet our needs, is fundamental for our psychological and physical wellbeing. I want my clients to feel like this about our working relationship and I work hard for this to be the case.

I also keep in mind that the challenges us humans face are often relational in nature, For example, our earliest experiences as children, often involve our family members, parents/ caregivers and siblings. We might be struggling with a friendship, or intimate relationship, or with how we interact with colleagues. There are many ways that we can relate to others and various reasons why this might be hard at times.

Having deeper insight and understanding of myself, has crucially allowed me to help others in their pursuit of knowing themselves more deeply. I’ve needed to do my own work first, to make sure that it doesn't get in the way!

In addition to working through things with my own therapist, the training provides me with a very robust understanding of theory and also how this applies to my personal processes throughout this training. Working with my classmates has been a soul-bearing experience for all of us in some ways. I don’t think you can get this far without that happening. To show up each time and be a vulnerable human being, is one of the most intimate things we can do.

I also have regular supervision, with a highly experienced TA Psychotherapist, who generously shares her insight and kindness. All Counsellors and Psychotherapists have supervision with a more senior person in their field. It’s not because they aren’t doing a good job, it’s to make sure that they can do their best work with you and to ensure that you receive the best type of support for what you are experiencing.

Looking ahead

My next job is to become fully accredited with the UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy,) which is likely to take another year and from there, I will be full steam ahead towards the CTA exam and the various dissertations that are required for that process.

But for now i’m taking a moment to celebrate getting this far, because on top of general life stuff and navigating some big challenges, i’ve done it !

And along the way, I am sure that I will meet some of the most incredible people, who with continued bravery, will sit with me, or walk with me, as they figure out something from their past, things that are happening for them right now, or their plans for the future. And for this privilege, I am truly grateful.

Where can you find me ?

I work online internationally and for those further afield in the UK. But if you can get to Bridport, in West Dorset, you can come and see me in person. I’d love to meet you and walk alongside you for this next part of your life.

You can take a peek here for more information on my website.

Kelly Taylor